How To Take Action by Controlling Pain and Pleasure

 At the end of the day, everything we do in our daily lives comes down to the drive of our deepest need, which is to avoid pain and gain pleasure. In other words, pain and pleasure control our decisions. Both pain and pleasure are part of our biology. We take action to gain pleasure and avoid pain. It is part every animal.

In general, humans will do a lot more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. The greatest motivation in the short term is to avoid pain. If you are like most humans. You probably have a hard time taking action toward your goals or tasks.

Current Pain Linking 

If you see someone you're attracted to and you don't take action, you are linking more pain than pleasure. In your mind, you are thinking more of the pain it feels to be rejected. You are thinking of the pain you will feel after you are rejected. Since that's what you are focusing on in this moment. You begin to feel pain in going up to the person and starting a conversation. This is what you are currently linking pain to.

Link pleasure to taking Action 

In the example of wanting to be in a relationship. You must link enormous amounts of pleasure to being in a relationship. If I do walk up to the person I am attracted to, this is what I am going to gain. 

Think of the intimate connection you will have and that feeling of oneness. Link all the pleasure you can think of. Put your focus on that. This way the pleasure of being in a relationship will be greater than the pain of being rejected.

Link Pain to Not Taking Action 

As mentioned earlier, we will do more to avoid pain then we will to gain pleasure. Think of all the pain you will feel if you do not take action. If you do not go up to the person and start a conversation what is it going to cost you? How will you continue to live your life? 

Think of all the things you will miss out if you did not take action.

Control Your Attention 

What you focus your attention on will be most real to you. In this case, if you want to change your behavior you must focus your attention. Attention on what?

• The Pain You will have If You Don't Take Action
• The Pleasure You will gain If You Do Take Action

Summary 

If you see someone you're attracted to and you don't take action, you are linking more pain than pleasure. Link pleasure to being in a relationship. If you do not follow through then you're not associating pleasure to it.

Other Examples:

• Procrastinating on Your Homework or Assignment
• Fear of Not Starting Your Own Business
• Assignment:

Write down 4 actions that you been putting off:

1. What is the pain that keeps you to take action?
2. What will it cause you if you don't take action? Emotionally, financially, etc
3. What will you gain if you take action?

Remember, Change Your Focus, Change Your Life

Let me know some of the things you been linking pain to that has kept you from taking action.

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